I Rate Today a -1,000

8/16/1860

Today in Paris, I saw something through my telescope that was diamond-blue, light green, and reptilian: the Loch Ness Monster. She ate a lot of food, mostly other fish. She looked so full, and then she threw up the eyeballs and the scales. Then zombies came from the graveyard! The zombies thought the Loch Ness Monster was faking being a zombie because she was the same colors as them. They knew she wasn’t one of them, so they tried to eat her because she looked so irresistibly tasty.

Oh, no! I watched as a bunch of zombies surrounded her, standing on the ground and on the bridges. She zoomed away! But the zombies had already seen her and would recognize her. I knew they would chase her forever.

I needed to help her! I went down to the river. I pulled out a flare, lit it, and walked into the water. I knew that the zombies would be attracted to the green light.

My plan worked! The zombies walked into the water and melted away.

I used my whistle to communicate with the Loch Ness Monster and tell her that she was safe. She came back to Paris and we had a party at the aquarium.

— Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln




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I Rate Today a -1,000

Inspired by Jeff Kinney's Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, students from our after-school program get creative with this collection of diary entries from across time and space. Each entry is written and illustrated with student comics, and each copy of the book comes with a free temporary tattoo (supplies are limited!).

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